In the first year of marriage, I have learned the following things and I thought I would share them:
Marriage is not what you think it will be.
Even if you have been together for years (we had been together 2 years when we got married), something changes. There are new expectations, new responsibilities, and oddly, new fears of loss because you are no longer just living for you, but for someone else as well. (I can only imagine this just grows as time passes and the family grows.)
The small, day-to-day stuff is the best.
Before I was married, I always thought that the best part of marriage would be parties, events, big deal days where I would finally have a husband to refer too. I even thought vacations would be more fun because I was married. In reality, the best parts of marriage are the little nuances you learn about your partner, the laughs you share while making dinner, learning to see the world as a team. The us vs. them mentality becomes really fun once you embrace it. Kind words at the end of a long day, encouragement when you are feeling down, all of these little things make marriage beautiful.
You will have epic fights and you can't just break up.
Sorry to break it to everyone who thinks that somehow being married will make you less apt to fight. Even as newlyweds, you fight. This kinda goes back to my first point. I think people have expectations when they get married about what this new life will mean. When those expectations are let down or changed, it usually leads to some weird fight. I believe in honesty, so I will admit (and I bet alot of you married people out there feel exactly the same) that this past year at least once I thought "if I weren't married, I would bolt." Now, in the heat of an argument, the easy way out can seem smart. The great thing about being married is you begin to live for a bigger purpose. You realize your petty disagreement, your ego, whatever the issue is, is worth way less than the beautiful life you have created. Getting through life one disagreement at a time together builds love, trust and a desire to keep going, even when the going gets tough.
(Sorry Mom and Dad if you read this) Sex gets better.
Whoever decided to spread the rumor that once you get married sex goes out the door was seriously mistaken. The comfort and love found in marriage leads to epic sex. Sometimes its tender, sometimes wild, but its always more amazing than the last time because you know each other bodies, desires and you are truly making love to your soul mate. There is nothing better.
You have to keep making new memories and focus on keeping the spark alive.
I think this is a given, but its true. NEVER get complacent with your love. Marital ruts are usually the beginning of infidelity, divorce, depression, you name it. Book trips, have dates where you meet each other out as though you are dating, try to create exciting memories together as often as possible. Avoid predictability.
I have learned a ton in this first year of our life together. (Did I mention this has been the best year of my life?)
I am so looking forward to spending forever with Mr. Arotin.
So, I am going to get back to forever and sign off for today! I have breakfast being made and a mimosa getting warm!
Mrs. Arotin (year one and counting)
P.S. I should have images from our vow renewal (happening today..eeeekkkk) posted next week!