Thursday, January 26, 2012

To Go or Not To Go, That is the Question

Image Source: Stella Event Design
I don't know about you, but as female in my mid twenties, I secretly dread late winter / early spring because of my mailbox invasion by summer wedding invitaions.

I know, I know I was recently married, why should I dread the wedding invitation and response card?  Why, because I get soooooo many!  I mean, seriously?  How does one person feasibly attend 8 weddings in different states in one summer?! I know you 20 and 30 somethings feel the same way!

This post may not be what brides to be want to hear (I know I wouldn't have wanted to hear it when I was a bride to be), but I believe in truth.  And, I believe other people feel just like me, so here we go.

Four questions to ask yourself when deciding whether to go or not to go:

1) How close to this person / couple are you right now, today?
Its a nice gesture for your best friend from grade school to send you an invite to their wedding.  But, truth be told, you haven't been close to him/her in 10+ years.  Will they really miss you on the big day? Probably not. If they won't miss you, and you can't afford the trip, time off, etc., do you really need to go?  I think no.

On the other hand, if one of your best friends has asked for your presense (even though you may not be in the wedding party), I think you have to go.  Wouldn't it be weird if you didn't go for whatever reason when you have brunch after the honeymoon?

This is the number one question I ask myself when I evaluate my response cards.

2) How far is the wedding?
Destination weddings are awesome (if you have 2K+ to drop and days of work to lose on a trip around the world for someone else). Unless you are an immediate family member or member of the wedding party, I say you definitely do not have to attend destination weddings.

I think this is true for weddings that may not be destination for the bride and groom, but are destination for you.  I mean, if you live in Arizona, a wedding is Maine is a serious destination, right?

3) Is this person family?
This one is tricky because of course you want to celebrate your cousin, second cousin, etc.  But, if you have to fly, book hotels, and take multiple days off work for the event, is it really necessary?

I think it depends on your relationship with that extended family member.  In most cases, a nice gift, a warm card, and dinner on you when you are home next will do just fine.

4) How big is the event?
If you are being invited to an intimate wedding (friend or family member), even if it does include some cost on your part (flight, hotel, etc.), I think you have to go.

When making a list of people to invite to a wedding, brides and grooms have tons of family and friends to choose from.  If you make the short list of say 40 guests, that means they really want to celebrate with you and have probably cut someone to have you there.  Suck it up and make the trip.  Your presence probably truly means something to them and you will get to spend real time with them, which is what weddings are all about anyway, right?

On the other hand, if a semi-used-to-be-close-friend invites you to their 350 person wedding that is a flight and hotel distance away, chances are you may not even talk to them at the wedding.  Do you really need to go?  I say no.

Those are the main questions I ask myself when planning my yearly weddings.  Did I miss anything, lovelies?  How do you decide?!



1 comment:

  1. Very well put, Lindsey. These are basically the criteria I use, too. xoxo